• Grieving the Suicide Death of a Loved One

    Among the most difficult deaths to endure is the suicide of a loved one.

    When someone we loved deeply decides to end their life, it can be one of the most devastating experiences.

    Even if they had tried and failed once or several times, we always feel hopeful that they will gain their emotional strength and become well again.

    So whether they have attempted in the past or their death was sudden with absolutely no warning, the overwhelming sense of confusion, anger, guilt, blame and sometimes shame can flow over you in avalanches of grief.

    You may even be angry at them wondering how they could have done something so selfish which brought such pain to the family.

    You may wonder how they could have been in such pain and no one ever knew about it.

    You may wonder what you could have said or did that might have driven them to take their life.

    You may also be wondering how they could have been struggling so much and they didn't reach out for help when they needed it so desperately.

    The most difficult thing about suicide is that there are so many unanswered questions. 

    But you must know this...while it is common for the survivors to place all the blame on themselves, ultimately it was he or she who made the decision. 

    And while they may have had many reasons why they felt leaving this earth was the only way to release their own emotional or physical pain, it was still their decision and while it is hard to consider, we must place the responsibility with them.

    Mary M. McCambridge